Epic Fourth Of July
by Eogrus
Summary: It is an amazing 4th of July, but the evil Theresa May wants to ruin it and kill everyone! Will our heroes stop her?


It was an unhappiness day in America. All the confetti for the celebrations had been stolen, now everything was ruined. This was the master plane of Theresa May.  
Haw Haw Haw even after spending months kissing Trump s softful anus I still want to kill America she moaned evilly as she rubbed her decaying vagina, a piece of her labia falling into the chair.  
She clicked a button and she underwent a transformations sequence ..she became ..VALERIE GRAY!  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA And now for the final piece! Valerie then flew to America and went to a store. She brought with her tons of confetti.  
Oh thank George Washington, now the fourth of July will be ruined no more cried Iron Man a single tear of bitter pride.  
And so they took the crates of confetti, unaware of the poison that laid within. Valerie May could only smile, her plan had just began. Then she went to the high school, to fool Danny even more.  
Hey Valerie he said, protruding a boner due to her enormous breasts.  
Hey Danny she mused evilly, Want to get some covfefes with me .. ? Sure! he said.  
They sat on the gym rows, Danny trying to grab her boobs but slapped away every time. Sam got very jealous, her nipples lactating sulphuric acid that burned her abdomen and exposed her guts. Little did she realise her mistake when Tucker began eating her internal organs, and she died and came back as a GHOST.  
But as she did, her enhanced supernatural senses began detecting something. Someone among them .WASN T AMERICAN!? And then ...THE CONFEVTI WAS POSIONED!?  
No wait guys! said ghost!Sam, but it was too latte.  
As the confetti was released some dark and evil mist came. The faces of the students were melted like butter, sliding off their pure white calcium skulls in a bloody jelly, their eye sockets levitating out of their eyes and fitting like rings around someone s finger .VALERIE!?  
Valerie, what s going on? Danny asked curiously.  
But she only laughed, and her flesh bubbled and melted and turned outside out, revealing .THERESA MAY!  
Wow, you re even hotter than before! Danny licked his lips like a dog.  
He tried going ghost to enter her pussy, but he just died instead.  
Hahahahahaah nothing will contest me! cried Theresa May, texting to the DUP.  
You will not get away with this! Sam said, her titties ejaculating pure black hatred.  
On the contrary, my dear emo child, all of America is now dead! Theresa May concluded.  
aND TO PROVE HER POINT, SHE OPENED HER WOMB, revealing all the souls she had captured. They were all being raped by demons, especially Danny. And Ember.  
No . cried Sam in despair, her breasts drying off like parchment.  
Not so fat! a crone voice of defiance said.  
Whose this!? spat Theresa May conservatively.  
The gymnasium exploded. It was .ANGRY KID!  
You may have turned MY island into a wasteland, but you won t do the same to America! he cried defiantly.  
HAW HAW HAW you and what army? Theresa May laughed.  
Then a current of air manifested behind her. It was ..THE HEX GIRLS!  
The presidents may be gone, but their power lives within our songs! said Thorn triumphantly.  
And with that power we will bless the righteous! said Luna.  
And by blessing the righteous you will suffer in the hell of your own making for once and for all! concluded Dusk, like the setting sun, and she touched the strings of her guitar.  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! cried Theresa May, but it was too late, they began playing!  
Angry Kid s fists were enveloped in patriotic fire and he jumped into the air. He punched Theresa May five million punches her per second per each word in each lyric, and with each impact a soul was released from her womb. This continued until the mists of the deep part, when she grabbed Angry Kid s arm and flung him away. He landed on the appalachian shores of the Atlantic ocean, all the blood in his fists tinging the ocean red. Theresa May smiled wickedly and flew towards him slowly, like a vampire I saw in some video game or something.  
You may have tried valiantly she mocked, But you will die, like all who defy DEATH! HAW HAW HAW! Sam gasped in horror. What could she do!? Then she remembered that the Hex Girls were still playing, so she listened. She lost herself in the trance of the music, the ambient sounds draining in the glory of the anthem, each word pulsing through her ectoplasm like existence being born itself. The images of every president pulsed and flashed through her mind, and she opened her eyes.  
She knew what to do.  
Hey codface! she yelled, her sound obliterating every building across the planet.  
Theresa May turned her head 180 .  
Yes? she asked.  
Sam took a burqa she found, painted it white, blue and red, and sent in a fling shot at Theresa May.  
Brexit SUCKS! Sam said The burqa filled Theresa May s mouth and she exploded, a flash of fire and boiling blood that obliterated half of the planet. But with all her evil defeated, the land regenerated itself, the seas turned to normal, the plants grew, the animals came. A dove landed on Sam s hand.  
And so our story ends, with the evil leaders of America and Britain being raped forever by demons with corkscrew hats, while everyone partied to the best fourth of July EVER.  
Amen. 


End file.
